Concerns Salt From Geelong Tears May Render Their Farms Barren Following Loss To Freo

The Geelong Footy Club combine agricultural land could be in for a catastrophic yield after the sheet volume of tears flowing from last night’s game threatens to turn the soil completely saline.

According to sources close to Geelong, the club feels they were robbed of victory due to a controversial decision by ARC to deny Dempsey a goal.

It is the club’s position that disallowing this goal cost them the 6 points they needed to not lose by 14 points. It takes some creative mathing but Geelong just chalked that up to “farm maths” and that city slickers wouldn’t get it.

Alas, the decision stands and the tears are flowing.

We spoke to a leading Geelong agricultural expert who said after just 12 hours of tears the total crop yield is expected to be 50% down from previous years. Adding,

“Salt is the enemy of farming and the reductions are going to flow on beyond just a bad yield, how can Geelong attract more top talent by offering them the salt-flat lifestyle? No one wants to live on a salt flat mate”

Nevertheless, the VFL will be looking at every option they can and forcing the game to be played again is not out of the question.

In a brief statement to The Times the top brass said that at the very least they will be providing Geelong with some priority picks to hopefully stem the flow of tears and save some of that valuable farmland.

Nice one.

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