Cott man without RCSA plates can’t park on Napoleon St for another year after Rotto swim cancelled

This year was going to be his year. He’s trained mercilessly to get his hands on the coveted RCSA plates but the Rotto swim was cancelled due to poor weather. Ipso facto, no plates again.

While RCSA plates aren’t limited to the affluent, it’s a hell of a lot easier to train for such a gruelling swim when you’re not bogged down by poor problems like working, stress, and malnutrition caused by Woolies’ prices.

We spoke to William who was still on the beach sulking. It had taken 6 men to pull him from the rough surf as he wasn’t taking “cancelled” for an answer”. He told The Times,

“I wouldn’t say I value RCSA plates more than my life but I’d say it’s about equal. I need those plates man, I have to evolve to that next level of superiority over my common man. One day I’ll be able to show my face on Napolean St by reverse parking my Range Rover with the sacred plates. That’s the dream ain’t it?”

After being dragged from the water, we understand William got in the faces of the organisers and told them to un-cancel the event before they feel the full brunt of his parental legal prowess.

Unfortunately, organisers are adamant that the conditions were too risky and this huge chode’s desire for custom RCSA plates shouldn’t outweigh the need to keep people safe.

We can report that after the disappointing morning, William decided to head over to Rotto anyway to live out the solo crossing fantasy in his head.

Despite the weather, William can be seen swanning around on the island in his budgie smugglers, making sure nothing rubs off his number.

In the interim, William will have to continue driving his dad’s car with O.G RSC plates when he wants to go to the Boatshed.

Calm down Willy.

RELATED: 9 Ways To Be A True Champion At The Rotto Swim

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?