A couple’s offer on a Highgate property has been rejected after failing to provide proof of ownership of a sufficiently affluent designer hound.
The sellers said it was a tough call but they ultimately owe a duty of care to the inner north to keep standards up. Mini property tycoon Lynn told The Times,
“We just feel they wouldn’t fit in around here. We’re looking for at least a chocolate dachshund or Frenchy. Ideally, we would like to see a Löwchen, Chow Chow, or Samoyed”
Retired lawyer and full-time Boomer Ron weighed in,
“Look, frankly I don’t care if you’ve got a Lab or a Saluki, just something to assure us you’ll be doing your shopping at IGA and not Woolies, if you catch my drift”
Indeed, a local realtor agreed, telling The Times,
“Why are you even looking in the inner North if you’re not thinking about walking your little home deposit around Hyde Park in a puffer vest sucking down a coffee from Chu? It’s a booming market and we must be vigilant to keep the character of the area consistent”
The couple says they were pretty devo at the decision but ultimately understood. Maree told The Times,
“My hubby comes from Mandurah and he’s had his staffy cross for years. I think the owners took one look at her and almost internally combusted. What were we thinking, staffy cross people in Perth’s inner North”
A neighbour to the property said he was relieved the owners took a stand. Adding,
“These people, I bet they don’t even have a little designer jacket for their dog. These aren’t the sort of people we need. Next you’ll be telling me they weren’t even on a waiting list for their dog!”
We asked the owners if they would consider a more expensive purebreed staffy. They declined to comment. Better luck next time.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?