BREAKING: The next Derby will be played in the emergency department to save time

The WA Government has announced that the next Western Derby will be held at the RPH emergency room to make life a bit easier on the veterans.

The decision comes after a horror run for The West Coast Eagles with midfield demon Luke Shuey and iconic backman McGovern subbed out with what is believed to be soft tissue damage.

It didn’t stop there, with Witho and Flyin’ Ryan coping knocks that would make even the staunchest man squeamish. A spokesperson for the AFL told The Times,

“There was a lot of passion in this game and with passion comes exertion and pain. It’s fair to say that the two teams will be attacking each other with vigor & gusto all year so let’s just hold it at RPH emergency ffs”

BREAKING: Albo Reveals He Pulled A Hammy While Attending Yesterday’s Western Derby

Freo have refused to confirm that having so many vital Eagle’s players injured was part of their strategy. However, there can be little doubt that an Eagles squad firing off all cylinders would have certainly challenged the struggling Flagmantle outfit.

Nevertheless, Flagmantle has thanked the cruel gods of injury for doing them a solid. Hopefully they can rise up the ladder with teams suffering similar catastrophic player injuries.

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