Ed Sheeran’s management has kindly asked the WA construction industry to back off after news a highly talented British man would be landing in the State in the upcoming days.
We can confirm that 80 independent tilers, 120 painters, and a couple of chippie businesses made their impassioned pleas to the popstar. An owner of one of the tilers told The Times,
“The Government keeps saying they are bringing over 30k Brits to fix our skills shortage. So when I figured this Ed bloke was part of that scheme. Everyone keeps saying they love his work and we really need another bloke on the tools”
To sweeten the deal, a Joondalup painter even offered Ed the use of his granny flat while he got adjusted to NOR trade life. He told The Times,
“He looks the part and we’re desperately looking for a talented geezer to get the job done. None of these lazy Aussies want to pick up a trade so we’ve had to bring the British in!”
Ed’s management has also confirmed that the singer has been offered 56 nursing roles, a full time chef gig and asked if he’d like to move to some buttfuck regional town to spearhead their local GP clinic. A spokesperson for Ed told The Times,
“Ed is known for performing a bit of magic but I think WA is really expecting too much from him. He has no GP experience and I highly doubt a Joondalup painter could match his current call out fee”
We understand that after significant pestering Ed has agreed to do a few swings up North where he’ll split his time entertaining the wet mess and driving a dump truck. On’ya Eddie.