Ex-Jetstar passenger beginning to feel like he’s something after booking more expensive Rex ticket 

A renowned Jetstar menace has decided his image is sorely in need of a rebrand. So when looking for flights to Melbourne this morning, he took the unprecedented move of avoiding the cheapest fare possible – typically a Jetstar flight.

Turning down the opportunity to depart Perth at 1am for $400, Tim opted for the $500 Rex fare and you could forgive him for having a little Hollywood in his step.

We spoke to Brentyn who had purchased a 4 pack of the good bourbon & cola (Woodstock Reserve) for his pre-flight tipple. He told The Times,

“Started from the bottom now I’m here. Life’s so much better at the top! Shout out to all the teachers who said I’d never amounted to nothing. Here I am, picking a slightly more expensive fare on a regional airline, get a dog up ya!”

In true rockstar form, Brentyn arrived late so he could hear his name being called out over the PA system. In his words,

“If you’re important, they’ll wait and I just paid $500 for a return ticket to Melbourne so yeah cunny, I’m a somebody”

After boarding his flight, we can report that Brentyn handed his bag to the staff and asked them to valet it into a spare spot.

He then took his seat, removed his shoes & socks, and stretched out his grubby orc feet into the passenger in front’s personal space. He told The Times,

“Feel like I’m on a private Jet ay. Do you know I’ve never in my life not bought the lowest possible fare? Guess you could say things are changing”

We can only wonder how long until the high flyer will get his first Rex flight turned around. Shouldn’t be long.