Flagmantle fan ignores Jacaranda season as he’s not ready to deal with another underwhelming display of purple just yet

A dedicated Flagmantle supporter has decided to keep the Nikon in the drawer this year and give Jacaranda season a miss. He says if he wanted to be unimpressed by a purple display he could just rewatch his boys.

Typically, Ken will head out with his wife and take thousands of photos of the purple flowers around Perth’s most affluent suburbs. He was particularly toey for it last year when the mighty Flagmantle emerged as a force to be reckoned with. He told the Times,

“I really thought 2023 was going to be the year Flagmantle got their first piece of silverware. Instead, we ended up 15th and a bunch of players left us again. Honestly, it was a tough season but hey at least I’m not a fkn Wet Coast supporter!”

He attempted to look at a local row of jacarandas but immediately flopped to the floor and started screaming at the sky asking how Liam Henry could do it to him.

Ken’s wife has expressed her disappointment but said it was for the best. Claiming that whenever Ken sees the colour purple he’ll lose his cool.

For example, on a recent trip down south, they decided to pop into Cape Lavender for morning tea. By all accounts things didn’t go well. Ken’s wife continued,

“I sensed something was wrong when Ken didn’t even complain about the prices on the menu. He had a 1000 mile stare across the fields of lavender. When his tea came he burst into a rant the Dockers needing to develop a new game plan or be destined for the bottom end of the ladder for another decade. He then went and fought a lavender tree”

To fill the void that jacaranda season has left in their social life, the couple agreed to take a trip to York so Ken could trample through the yellow flowers growing against a clear blue sky. He said it was a metaphor, adding,

“See what I’m doing? I’m smashing you smug fkn Eagles fans. Wooden spoon, how do you like it? Do you like it when I do that? Yeah, just like that!!!”

It was an interesting way to cope with the 2023 Flagmantle season but to each their own.

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