Major fuel companies have personally thanked the Aussie public for their loyalty during a “tough period” of cheaper petrol prices recently.
A spokesperson for Big Fuel said that a vacuum of decent excuses meant they weren’t able to gouge as effectively and that wasn’t in-line with public expectation. Adding,
“We understand motorists rely on us to get rogered 6 ways to Sunday when they roll into our servos and we now have some new malarkey in the Middle East to use an excuse so you can expect the kind of high prices you rely on us to deliver”
Big Fuel has been losing sleep over the lost profits and by all accounts it has been a very challenging time for its executives.
We spoke to an insider who said the Aussie public sticking by them meant everything as they sweated over the size of their enormous bonuses. Adding,
“Honestly, these last few weeks have been tough on us especially after the dizzying highs of cracking $3, some of us even considered putting our 2nd or 3rd yachts on the market to make ends meet. Thankyou Australia”
For now, Aussies can reap the fruits of their consumeristic allegiance by getting back on the Mi Gorengs for dinner so they can afford to drive to the end of their streets.
After all, rolling into a servo shouldn’t just ruin your day, it should ruin your week.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?