Vegemite tuend 100 years old today and in honour of Australia’s favourite spread I thought I’d drag out some memories collected over the years.
The Vegemite Mural
In 2018, a Freo artist had a dream. A dream to pain the Freo Traffic Bridge in the yeasty spread of ‘Straya.
Rather than appreciate his art, a transit officer arrested him, dragged him into the station and then fined the artist $200. According to a witness, the artist argued his case by yelling at the transit officer that it was only bloody Vegemite! Clearly the officer wasn’t a man of high culture.
You have to give the engineer credit for the vision here. One can only speculate on how thoroughly a wash they gave the jar before creating such a work of art. It could be smooth or it could be a very yeasty choof. Either way, it’s a credit to the culture that such an abomination exists.
Tom Hanks gets roasted in quarantine
Tom Hanks came to Australia during the pandemic and during his quarantine period shared this photo of his breakfast. Many were quick to hang shit on the actor.
Thanks to the Helpers. Let’s take care of ourselves and each other. Hanx pic.twitter.com/09gCdvzGcO— Tom Hanks (@tomhanks) March 15, 2020
However, you have to respect an American going that hard on the Vegemite. I personally went into bat for him and the exchange was immortalised on a Brisbane sign for some reason. Just happy to do my bit and defend anyone who goes beastmode on the spread.
Old mate has had enough
Satire or a legitimate gripe? It’s pretty hard to tell given the West’s readership are all boomers who are likely to send something like this in seriously. Either way, god tier whinge.
A nation sheds a tear
Ah, gentrification, you saucy little devil. Do you remember when deconstruction was all the rage a few years ago? Not to mention the inexplicit love cafes had for serving food on chopping boards. Well, this is the culmination of that culture and it hurts to look at. $7 for that too.
A few years later, Coles did this. No doubt it got more than a few hungry Aussies curious but it left many wondering whether we had strayed too far from the light of god. Is this a suitable way to honour vegemite? Or a cynical cash grab by a shit kent company?
Eh, maybe it’s not that deep, just shove it down your chicken & bread roll hole and feel something.
Happy bday Vegemite. Cheers for the memories.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?