Calls from within 3 elite Perth suburbs to tightly define the “Golden Triangle” grow louder

The Golden Triangle is sometimes used as a synonym for the Western Suburbs of Perth. Although most people have their definitions of which burbs are included or not.

This has naturally caused distress to the Golden Triangle “purists” who believe the term only relates to the Cottesloe, Claremont and Peppy Grove. However it should be noted that within this elite cohort is a smaller group who believe it should be limited to 3 streets in Peppy Grove.

We spoke to a Cottesloe resident who has been rallying the Government to formally legislate the definition of “Golden Triangle” and forbid the term be used to describe a suburb like Subiaco. He told The Times,

“We don’t even want suburbs like Subiaco or Leedy saying they are part of the western suburbs, much less, the Golden Triangle. Are you aware they suffer mortgage stress? How frightfully common. We must protect the true GT”

To prove his point, the man grabbed a random beachgoer with a mullet who had clearly caught public transportation to the beautiful beach. He barked at the boy to tell him what suburbs were in the GT. He replied,

“I always thought it was all the suburbs west of Perth City down to Mosman Park staying NOR of course but whatever man, why are you gripping my arm so tight? Are you frothing at the mouth?”

He had proven his point but he hadn’t swayed The Times yet. Was such an elitist definition of the GT valid? To explore, we headed to Shenton Park to talk to some locals.

Alas, we found many were too busy with the mundane chores of suburban life to stop and chat. Actually working and contributing to society outside of generational wealth was a massive tick against being included. So we headed to Dalkeith.

Surely any argument you could advance to say Claremont is worthy could be applied to Dalkeith? What a lovely suburb. It ticked every box so put it to a Peppy Grove resident who almost choked on their caviar,

“Absolutely not! Why Iobby my local councilman to have naval cannons installed at Freshwater Bay so we can keep those barbarians at the gate! I wouldn’t even give a Dalkeith man the honour of shining my golf balls!”

We were told that Mosman Park had disqualified itself for allowing it to foster such a squalid poor area. A similar argument was advanced for Nedlands. With some within the purist sect describing these suburbs as having “full blown ghettos”.

We soon found that all lines of communication within the “purist sect” were cut off after raising with them that some people considered West Perth to be part of the GT. I was told I clearly wasn’t taking this seriously and to leave immediately.

Time will tell what the WA Government comes up with but all we know is that the definition is never going to please everyone!

RELATED: 6 Hot Tips For Transitioning Into A Life In The Western Suburbs 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?