A local woman faces accusations of witchcraft this morning after being spotted using her mobile phone inside Karrinyup shopping centre.
The unsettling display of supernatural activity occurred outside Sephora after a shopper noticed the woman using utilising her phone as normal. She immediately raising the alarm, telling The Times,
“At first we all swarmed her and demanded she check the prices on stuff that we couldn’t ourselves. She helped a few but then her phone rang. It RANG. That’s when we really understood dark forces were at play”
What followed was all out pandemonium with a couple of shoppers who had been cut off from the outside world for weeks started demanding she prove herself.
It was decided by the mob that if the woman could escape from the underground car park she was a witch and would be dealt with accordingly. If she couldn’t, then she’d become one of the car park cavernous creatures and live her life as one of them.
We spoke to the woman who said the trial was extremely daunting but ultimately it was a fair test of her witch-abilities. Adding,
“I’d actually remembered to take a photo of where I’d parked my broom this time, so I got to it pretty quick and yeah, using my wicked powers I flew straight out. Do you really think a mere mortal could use basic mobile phone functions in that faraday cage?”
The howling mob attempted to send footage of the witch to authorities but, unsurprisingly, lacked the required bars to get it through in time.
Just another day in Karrinyup.
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