Logan Paul Confident His Choreographed WWE Moves Will Help Him Survive Midvale This Weekend 

General societal stain and documenter of corpses, Logan Paul, has boldly chosen Midvale Woolies to be the site of his meet & greet to promote this energy drink Prime this weekend. 

On the day, Paul and his business partner KSI are expected to be swarmed by teenagers for a chance to get a bottle of his energy drink or maybe ask what tf happened with the crypto game scam thingy he was spruiking. 

However, he may also attract the attention of some individuals far less welcoming of the YouTuber. Individuals who indeed invested in his crypto zoo thingy. A source close to Paul says he isn’t concerned, adding,

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“Wrestling isn’t fake. He’s a beast in the ring and he’ll be a beast in Midvale. Do you think anyone is going to try rolls him when he can deliver a flying elbow off the top rope? Forgetaboutit”

Indeed, the controversial figure has been working hard on his suplexes after finding out Midvale is Midland’s slightly scarier cousin, dog. His source continued, 

“Perhaps his exhibition boxing skills would be more useful but at the end of the day, he’s been advised to deal out as many Stone Cold Stunners as he needs to make sure he escapes Perth’s east alive”

It should be noted that Paul will almost certainly be attending UFC Perth on the weekend given his energy drink is the official sponsor. Once again, he’s sure his slap-punches will be effective in keeping him safe in the crowd. 

Good luck, Logan, you’ll need it. 

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