A man born on the cusp of Gen Y and Gen Z has been struggling with his beer-garden identity of late. Admitting that he missed the boat on dart fever but still associates vaping with zoomer d-bags.
Sitting in the back of a beer garden, solemnly sipping a pint of Swanny D the man looked longingly at a group of 34-year-olds huddling around a $50 pack of darts like a crack team of golems chain smoking. He told The Times,
“They look like they are having so much fun but I just can’t ignore everything I was brought up knowing about filthy darts. I also haven’t had a pay rise since I started working and rents gone up so I can’t stomach a $50 pack. I’ll never choof darts”
Wiping a tear from his eye he then turned his focus to a group of younger patrons passing around flavoured vapes and blowing the blueberry dick like they owed it money. He told The Times,
“If I was born just a few years later that’d be me. I’d be that cool. Unfortunately, I am of that exact age where I can’t justify developing a nicotine habit when I never touched a single dart. To me that kinda seems stupid. God I hate vapes”
Alas, the young man is stuck in a cultural limbo. Unable to indulge in either bad habit. Making him wonder if he’s truly living life on the edge. All his good health is making him sick as he explains,
“Yeah, I always end up speaking to the fitness people dragged along to the pub. We sit there judging the smokers/vapers but I don’t now man, I guess a piece of me wishes I had a bit more reckless abandon in my life. Ah well, another 8 pints should bury that thought deep down in the hurt locker”
It seems the man is left with one option – become a tradie or FIFO worker. A habit will soon form. More on the FIFO love of the vape HERE.