A notorious weekend warrior has failed to bond with his new neighbours after hearing a bit of DIY going on over the weekend.
At approximately 2:30 pm, Max ventured out of his dwelling and tooled up before heading to the fence to see if his neighbour needed a hand.
Doing the neighbourly thing, Max was welcomed into the yard however what his neighbour saw the thin air of decorum split apart like 1 ply toilet paper at a curry party. His neighbour told The Times,
“Another neighbour already warned me about this guy. Bit of a nuffie when it came to home projects but seeing him come over with an Ozito drill was too much. This is a Milwaukee household and we don’t compromise on that”
Not reading the room, Max enthusiastically asked his neighbour if he’d like him to “bang a few screws in”. Initially the neighbour pretended to not hear Max but when pressed he was forced to reply. He told The Times,
“I told him it was bad enough he brought that piece of shit into my domain. Asking to taint my DIY project with his inferior tool was too much for me to handle. I asked him if he’d be more comfortable running a few repairs on my daughter’s dollhouse”
It was at this point Max suspected he wasn’t being respected in this arena of men – his pissweak little Ozito flopped around like a 3am softie being serenaded with the crinkling of a franger of failure. To try and claw back some self respect, Max asked the man if he could hold the Milwaukee impact drill.
His request was denied on the grounds he didn’t want the stench of Ozito on his high quality power tools.
Lost, broken and afraid, Max did what any normal weekend warrior would and took a trip to Total Tools to rinse his credit card on a selection of tools he’ll never have cause to use.
Well done Max.
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