“Bloody Jetstar”, Damo barks as he pops the top off his 4th brekkie Bintang while releasing a relieving stream into the idyllic infinity pool.
Damo’s rage was seething as he told us that he was forced to ring his shitfabrains boss and tell him that returning to work was out of his control. Adding,
“Does Jetstar think I don’t have anything better to do than soak up the sun in me 4 star villa on holiday? I’ll be giving em an almighty spray after another massage by the beach”
We understand that Damo made a token effort to call the Jetstar hotline but opted to hang up after the 3rd unanswered ring.
After a lengthy nap, Damo woke up so infuriated that he was forced to treat himself to an extravagant seafood lunch that he certainly couldn’t afford back home. While demolishing a crayfish he told The Times,
“It’s like living in hell mate. Groundhog day where every day I wake up to unparalleled paradise in a land that shows me the respect I’m due by calling me boss. Makes ya sick what these Jetstar muppets are doing to people”
Damo then excused himself to attend a massage that he advised we wouldn’t want to be standing within 10m of. After coming back he told The Times,
“I had some Jetstar piece of shit call me up and say they can get me home on a flight Monday morning. I told em yeah, nah Monday mornings don’t work for me. Can you believe the audacity? I’m like a prisoner!”
It’s clear that everyone involved needs to be doing more for this man. After our last welfare check, it’s hard to comprehend how many more days of getting pissed in the pool this man can endure.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?