Perth’s marine insurance premiums are preparing to have an absolute train run on them today as every boat in the City has descended upon Rotto for the annual open ocean swim.
Yachts to cruisers to tenders are all expected to cop their fair share of marine incompetence today. With areas such as boat ramps to provide most of the fun & games. An insurance vulture told The Times,
“Do you smell that? That’s the smell of money baby. We are anticipating making an absolute dickload of coin today from insurance premiums being absolutely blown apart. Every daddy’s boy has got his dad’s boat key – what could possibly go wrong ay?”
While rich boys trying to show off in front of insta-models is one source of the premaggedon the insurance companies are also looking at the standard all-the-gear-no-idea-weekend-warrior-BCF-shirt-wearing-shitwit to help line their pockets. The insurance source continued,
“It’s a sunny day and the froffs will be pouring. Every man worth his BCF shirt will fuckup in some way and we are totally here for it. At a rough estimation, we believe we could make $4-5M today, easy”
We spoke to William who convinced his father to take the boat out today. He says he can feel his insurance premium aching already. Adding,
“Yeah I’m definitely going to forget the bungs or something. I can just feel it. I reckon I’ll be at the Rotto pub getting pissed when someone will run in and say a boat is going down in the bay ha ha, I’ll be like, yep! That’s me”