Struggling hospo industry can’t wait for the MasterChef parallel universe where apparently everyone dreams of working in a kitchen

It’s a special time of the year for restaurant owners who wake up to a daily battle of finding & retaining good staff. It’s Masterchef season time and 2023 will be especially joyous given the severity of those battles lately. 

It’s an opportunity for people just months away from insolvency to drift off into a dream world where everyone’s passion is apparently working in a kitchen and making great food. 

We spoke to a cafe owner who said sometimes she and her husband roleplayed a MasterChef contestant who didn’t get a job on SBS Food to come in and ask for a job. She added,

“What a delightful fantasy world. These people love everything about cooking except of course apprenticeships and working in the industry like a normal human being. We love to see it. Makes us feel quite warm & fuzzy inside”

Another pub owner says he even chokes the old chicken while watching, adding,

“I think about someone coming to an interview and being enthusiastic. Rather than telling me they can’t work weekends and won’t work for a dollar less than what they were earning on some oil rig in 2009”

He unsettlingly started playing pocket billiards while talking. He continued,

“Then I think about this employee actually turning up to their trial shift *groans* and *gasps for air in a state of ecstasy* follows up and works for a full week *GAWWWWWDAMNNNNNNNN*”

Let’s just say you might want to skip the bechamel sauce until old mate can get some sufficiently strong cleaning products for that floor. Protein is the hero of his pants-dish right now. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?