Rumours that an internationally renowned supervillain might be calling Perth home soon were bolstered today after a mysterious figure was seen sniffing around Next DC and the East Perth Public Transport Centre this morning.
It is not yet known if the masked man is shopping for himself or another villain such as Kony, Kim Jong-Un, or the guy who decided to change the recipe & name of the Roota strip sub. We spoke to a local realtor who told The Times,
“Obviously, we keep the requests of our clients confidential but he was particularly focused on which property had the best mounting pad for a laser capable of, in his words, getting the job done. I told him Next DC was a great choice for a modern villain but perhaps the East Perth Transport Centre would strike more fear into the hearts of the population, or pathetic worms, as he called them”
He was also seen scoping potential lairs at Castle Fun Park in Halls Head, Maylands Brickworks, and Curtin House. To say he’s been a busy supervillain here in Perth is an understatement. However, we can report that he also had a look at Perth’s premier floating glass nightclub cube. A witness told The Times,
“I think rebranding is big on any supervillain’s list. The days of hiding in a mountain are over. I think he wanted to be like one of those Russian gangsters who always meet at loud, techno nightclubs to conduct meetings. I think the floating nightclub would be perfect for that”
A spokesperson for the supervillain said it was really a flip of the coin but was leaning towards the Next DC building. Adding,
“It’s a great building. People drive past and think WTF is that? What are they up to in there? That’s the kinda vibe we are looking for. In saying that, East Perth looks like it could survive a nuclear blast, which between you and me, could come in pretty handy if you catch my drift”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?