An inner-city NIMBY is demanding answers after the Foo Fighters rocked the inner North from arsehole to breakfast time last night.
One can only imagine the hardship they endured having to listen to nostalgic bangers until 10:30 in the fkn PM! Can you believe that? Well now, they are asking to be compensated for the distress!
Taking a break from writing a handwritten letter to their local member, they told The Times,
“Heads are going to roll. I am perfectly happy to reap the benefits of living in a lively area but I am not prepared to compromise on the occasional concert or sports game! That’s how I am wired and I can’t change because I’m a miserable sack of shit! I will be compensated and a formal written apology from these Foo men!”
Indeed, the NIMBY loves nothing more than their ever-growing property value given the desirability of the inner city location. They also likes the hustle & bustle of life during the day. Keyword, DAY.
We managed to track down a neighbour who said he decided to roll with the punches and try having a little fun last night. He told The Times,
“I thought, geez Dave your amplified vocals are really making it hard for the wife and I to play our 5th game of Scrabble so I suggested we grab some camping chairs, sit in the front yard and listen to the concert with a cold beer. Have to say, having fun is pretty… fun?”
Similar stories streamed in after the NIMBY decided to rally support on a local community group page. This only infuriated them more. They continued,
“These people don’t deserve to live in the area if they have such little regard for residents like me. Why aren’t people thinking about me and my needs at all times? I can’t get my head around that!”
In particularly joyous news, reports of NIMBY anger have come in from as far as Morley, Embleton & Noranda. That is a serious testament to The Foo Fighters who rocked the house down.
Next time, try having a little fun, NIMBY.
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