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Tuesday, September 01, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Giant red bin erected in Secret Harbour to commemorate by-election win

    Secret Harbour is waking up to the dawn of a new age. Not only did they vote to leave the EU but they have now…

    Belle August 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

    Jetstar outdoes South African plane’s dangerously close flyover stunt by getting dangerously close to not cancelling a flight

    Rugby fans were left amazed and in need of new grundies after two Airlink planes performed a dangerously close flyover of DHL Stadium in Cape…

    Belle August 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Secret Harbour set to leave the EU after One Nation victory

    The first order of business for British outpost Secret Harbour is to break the shackles of what they feel is a bad deal as a…

    Belle August 30, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    AFL scraps Wildcard Round effective immediately after Collingwood fail to make finals

    The AFL has announced that in hindsight it had wasted its and everyone else’s time with this wildcard malarkey after it failed to get Collingwood…

    Belle August 29, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Donald Trump hits hole-in-one on the 12th at The Cut in Dawesville

    Some say it’s nearly impossible to ace the 12th at The Cut against the howling Mandurah breeze but US President Donald Trump proved the haters…

    Belle August 28, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Inedible generic eggs prepare for least anticipated Easter comeback tour thanks to cost-of-living crisis

Belle April 13, 2025

Inedible generic easter eggs were a staple of many childhoods. Their oily consistency reminded one of the sorts of joy that could only usually be…

View More Inedible generic eggs prepare for least anticipated Easter comeback tour thanks to cost-of-living crisis
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Millennial gives thanks every day social media wasn’t around during his Nu Metal era 

Belle April 11, 2025

An ageing millennial takes a moment at least once a day to thank the powers that be that social media was in its infant stages…

View More Millennial gives thanks every day social media wasn’t around during his Nu Metal era 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Newly Single Man Deploys Double-Popped Collar To Devastating Effect 

Belle April 10, 2025

The early 2000s called, they want their stud back. Newly single man Dave has just put himself back on the market after a solid 20…

View More Newly Single Man Deploys Double-Popped Collar To Devastating Effect 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Trump refuses to pause tariff on Wittenoom stating he will make American asbestos great again

Belle April 10, 2025

President Trump has sensationally backflipped on his ridiculous tariffs today after realising destroying the global economy may not make him too popular. However, he remains…

View More Trump refuses to pause tariff on Wittenoom stating he will make American asbestos great again
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

WA slaps reciprocal tariff on Lady Gaga’s beef with Perth following tour snub

Belle April 9, 2025

The great nation of Westralia has served back a massive fark you to Lady Gaga after if was announced she was going to dog Perth…

View More WA slaps reciprocal tariff on Lady Gaga’s beef with Perth following tour snub
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

UN warns Trump to stop threatening Australia with the thought of eating American beef

Belle April 8, 2025

The United Nations has urged the unhinged President that even making Australians think about having to eat their beef is a violation of human rights. …

View More UN warns Trump to stop threatening Australia with the thought of eating American beef

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Giant red bin erected in Secret Harbour to commemorate by-election win
  • Jetstar outdoes South African plane’s dangerously close flyover stunt by getting dangerously close to not cancelling a flight
  • Secret Harbour set to leave the EU after One Nation victory
  • AFL scraps Wildcard Round effective immediately after Collingwood fail to make finals
  • Donald Trump hits hole-in-one on the 12th at The Cut in Dawesville
  • AFL Requires proof of 10 Years of Social Media Meltdowns to Buy Flagmantle finals tickets

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