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Saturday, July 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    REPORT: Labubu is just Teletubbies for people who @ brands on IG pretending they have an endorsement

    The Times conducted a special report into the growing fad of buying Labubu plush toys. Delving into the bowels of social media, we discovered that…

    Belle July 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Birkenstock urgently recall these things. No specific reason they’re just sorry for releasing them

    Birkenstock has urgently recalled all of their Boston shoe range after reflecting on what they unleashed on society. In a revised mission to “decuntify” the…

    Belle July 5, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Qantas hackers now the custodians of millions of useless flight credits

    The group thought to be behind the Qantas hack have found themselves in the unenviable position of only being able to use the data to…

    Belle July 4, 2025
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  • BREAKING NEWS Featured

    Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 

    Western Australia has responded to Europe’s heatwave by sending the best of the best of our underground miners to give the country some perspective.  Parts…

    Belle July 3, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Freo Dockers have been training in a Wagin sheep paddock in preparation for the SCG turf

    The Fremantle Dockers have taken extreme measures to be ready for the disgraceful SCG turf on the weekend. Rather than training at their regular Cockburn…

    Belle July 3, 2025
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BREAKING NEWS True-ish Crime

Red Shoe Ban A Real Blow For The 5 Wearers Not Already Banned From All Licenced Premises in WA

Belle January 9, 2023

Yesterday, Bar1 in Hillarys announced that red shoes will be banned from their nightclub in what can only be seen as an attempt to de-eshay…

View More Red Shoe Ban A Real Blow For The 5 Wearers Not Already Banned From All Licenced Premises in WA
BREAKING NEWS Sports

Iluka & Currambine Band Together To Ban The “C Word” For Comfort Of Residents

Belle January 8, 2023

Boasting some of the highest population of Saffas per capita, the suburbs have decided to rally together to stop any mention of cricket in their…

View More Iluka & Currambine Band Together To Ban The “C Word” For Comfort Of Residents
BREAKING NEWS Local

Local tool unrepentant after nabbing free lane and putting in pathetic effort at pole position

Belle January 7, 2023

It was truly as bad as it gets at an intersection on Leach Highway today. Reports state a Hyundai Excel made a last-minute decision to…

View More Local tool unrepentant after nabbing free lane and putting in pathetic effort at pole position
BREAKING NEWS Featured Lifestyle

Welfare Check Ordered After Influencer Fails to Post a Selfie at the Ritz Carlton

Belle January 5, 2023

Friends of a 24 year old “influencer type” were left perplexed after she failed to upload a selfie of herself sitting on a bed while…

View More Welfare Check Ordered After Influencer Fails to Post a Selfie at the Ritz Carlton
BREAKING NEWS Featured Lifestyle

So-Called Chilli Warrior Immediately Regrets Bravado At Thai Restaurant 

Belle January 5, 2023 Food

Despite being as caucasian as the sprinkler move on a wedding d-floor, Karl fancies himself somewhat of a chilli warrior. A man who thinks he…

View More So-Called Chilli Warrior Immediately Regrets Bravado At Thai Restaurant 
From the Zoo Featured

5 Hot Tips For Scamming Your Friends With Essential Oils

Belle January 5, 2023 Woo Woo

A lot of doctors have “opinions” so naturally, an equal and opposite force is present – essential oil flogging scammers. These side-hustling sirens have been…

View More 5 Hot Tips For Scamming Your Friends With Essential Oils

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TRENDING NEWS

  • REPORT: Labubu is just Teletubbies for people who @ brands on IG pretending they have an endorsement
  • Birkenstock urgently recall these things. No specific reason they’re just sorry for releasing them
  • Qantas hackers now the custodians of millions of useless flight credits
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Freo Dockers have been training in a Wagin sheep paddock in preparation for the SCG turf
  • Eradication back on the cards after the Cuntbeetle was found to have jumped the queue for Rotto accommodation

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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
  • BoM To Reclassify Perth Storms Based On Likelihood Of Trampoline Blowing Away 
  • REPORT: Perth Man In Arctic Jacket & Shorts Doesn’t Care What You Think 
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