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Saturday, December 13, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    WA man furious after Secret Santa cheaps out with an 18-foot fishing boat

    “What am I going to do with that?”, thought Rod as he tried his best to feign gratitude after being gifted a cheap, useless present. …

    Belle December 13, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Crack team of pastry chefs deployed to South Perth to deal with late night baking epidemic

    South Perth residents have been moaning that young people are living their best life and indulging in late night baking sessions on the foreshore. Among…

    Belle December 11, 2025
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

    Nature is healing as kids banned from socials return to Galleria bus port to settle beef

    The Albanese Government is celebrating another triumph this morning as hundreds of under 16s ditch trading barbs over socials for good ol fashion scuffling at…

    Belle December 11, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

    Under-16s social media ban declared a win as kids rediscover the art of pelting honky nuts at each other

    All eyes were on Australia today as the Under 16s social media ban came into effect.  Many experts were debating how the kids were going…

    Belle December 10, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Congestion on regional roads solved after “overtaking lane ahead” signs placed every 100m

    Main Roads WA have been praised for their genius initiative to ensure grey nomads towing caravans don’t clog up regional roads anymore.  The solution? To…

    Belle December 9, 2025
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

Qantas to Scalp GF Tickets for Thrice the Price – “It wouldn’t feel like a grand final if we didn’t rip off West Aussies”

Belle September 9, 2021

Qantas executives have been unable to sleep since the AFL announced the 2021 Grand Final would be played in Perth this year.  Ripping off West…

View More Qantas to Scalp GF Tickets for Thrice the Price – “It wouldn’t feel like a grand final if we didn’t rip off West Aussies”
BREAKING NEWS Featured

“Trees are a hoax” – Clive to Launch HC Challenge to Force WA to Continue Logging Native Forests

Belle September 9, 2021

Sources from within the Palmer camp say the rotund litigation pest was livid that WA dared to create policy without first checking with him.  In…

View More “Trees are a hoax” – Clive to Launch HC Challenge to Force WA to Continue Logging Native Forests
BREAKING NEWS Featured

AFL Backtrack on Cancelling Grand Final Parade After Seeing NORTHBRIDGE Sign

Belle September 7, 2021

Perth was shocked to hear that the AFL had ruled against staging a Grand Final parade in Perth due to terminal butthurt-itis, “terrorism” concerns, and…

View More AFL Backtrack on Cancelling Grand Final Parade After Seeing NORTHBRIDGE Sign
scarborough beach perth
BREAKING NEWS Featured

30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet

Belle September 7, 2021

Despite 6 months of neglect, local man Kyle inexplicably reckoned his rig was ready for the big stage at Scarborough today. How wrong he was. …

View More 30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet
From the Zoo Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)

Belle September 6, 2021

If you’ve ever been walking down the street and suddenly get hit in the nostrils by a strong stank of baby-batter you could be forgiven…

View More IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)
BREAKING NEWS Featured

REPORT: Dôme Café Really Likes the Look of that Waterside Location in Your Suburb

Belle September 4, 2021

Yesterday, we received a report that a Dôme Café location scout was seen licking his lips, rubbing his hands together, and announcing that he wanted…

View More REPORT: Dôme Café Really Likes the Look of that Waterside Location in Your Suburb

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TRENDING NEWS

  • WA man furious after Secret Santa cheaps out with an 18-foot fishing boat
  • Crack team of pastry chefs deployed to South Perth to deal with late night baking epidemic
  • Nature is healing as kids banned from socials return to Galleria bus port to settle beef
  • Under-16s social media ban declared a win as kids rediscover the art of pelting honky nuts at each other
  • Congestion on regional roads solved after “overtaking lane ahead” signs placed every 100m
  • Ellenbrook Line declared a disaster as new figures reveal Perth dealing with thousands of Ellenbrook commuters every day

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