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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Tuesday, November 04, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Unblocking the Suez Canal – a panel of armchair experts

Belle March 27, 2021

In the filthy Suez of life, some turds block the system. It’s then the job of highly trained experts to roll up their sleeves and…

View More IN FOCUS: Unblocking the Suez Canal – a panel of armchair experts
Party & Entertainment

Mr Perf Bucks Party

Belle March 26, 2021 Bogan

In two weeks Anfernee will be walking Kaylah down the sandy aisle of Kuta Beach. While Kaylah yearns for the majesty of her shoeless ceremony,…

View More Mr Perf Bucks Party
Perth & WA Locations

Mr Balcatta

Belle March 24, 2021

Francesco has lived in Balcatta ever since he migrated from the old country in the 60s. According to Frank, once he got here, he single…

View More Mr Balcatta
WA Culture & Notable Events

Mr Taxiiiiii

Belle March 24, 2021 CringeDrugs & AlcoholParty

Simmo has decided to mix things up and is spending another Saturday drinking with “the boys” from his footy club. He hides his crippling fear…

View More Mr Taxiiiiii
Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

The House Plant Addict

Belle March 23, 2021

Belinda used to live a normal life until she was gifted a Calathea for her birthday. Soon after, she was bulbs-deep into a home jungle…

View More The House Plant Addict
Unique & Other

Mr “I’m Building a House!”

Belle March 22, 2021 Cringehome ownershiptradie

Remember that high school acquaintance you don’t like, purchasing that house you didn’t give a shit about, with money you didn’t believe was his? Well,…

View More Mr “I’m Building a House!”

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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