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The Bell Tower Times

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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Neighbour Who Loves a Leaf Blower

Belle March 22, 2021

Since their inception, leaf blowers have been tearing more suburbs apart than the St Andreas Fault. Statistically, every suburb will have at least 10 blow…

View More IN FOCUS: Neighbour Who Loves a Leaf Blower
From the Zoo Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Hyundai Getz

Belle March 21, 2021

Some say that between 2002 – 2011, motoring performance hit its peak – the Hyundai Getz. Others would disagree, including Hyundai Australian CEO, Lee Edwards…

View More IN FOCUS: Hyundai Getz
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: UFC Smash Day At The Pub

Belle March 21, 2021

Preparation – early bird gets that worm, early being 8am and the worm being another bourbon-induced notch on your crim record belt. Pre drinking for…

View More IN FOCUS: UFC Smash Day At The Pub
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Leach Highway

Belle March 19, 2021

What can be said about Leach Highway that hasn’t already been said about a roadhouse toilet? It’s desolate, filthy and you have an above-average chance…

View More IN FOCUS: Leach Highway
Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

The #VanLife Couple

Belle March 19, 2021

Kate and Tim met while queueing up at the launch of a new doughnut tipped to take Instagram by storm. Kate ran a generic food…

View More The #VanLife Couple
WA Culture & Notable Events

The Perth Bikie Expert

Belle March 18, 2021

There has been one glaring omission in the around-the-clock media coverage on Nick Martin’s death – Brandon’s expert opinion. After all, he’s watched every episode…

View More The Perth Bikie Expert

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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