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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Wednesday, November 05, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Work & Study

Little Ms. Corporate

Belle February 10, 2021

Jessica’s constant gloating about her grad position is like using the party potato salad to relieve your yeasty itch: it makes her feel good but…

View More Little Ms. Corporate
Reckons

So, you’re going to become a cryptocurrency millionaire?

Belle February 10, 2021 crypto

If you haven’t been paying attention, crypto is no longer for drug dealers and men who have had their hard drives confiscated. It’s a brave…

View More So, you’re going to become a cryptocurrency millionaire?
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Ms Perth Hoon

Belle February 9, 2021 motoring

Den’eese wasn’t like the other girls growing up. Forget the Spice Girls, she admired her clan of missing-link brothers. The sort of men who couldn’t…

View More Ms Perth Hoon
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr Super Bowl

Belle February 8, 2021

This year, Sam is a swashbucklin’ Buccaneer’s fan. He’ll tell you it’s because he has always been but in reality, he is just further up…

View More Mr Super Bowl
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Totally Wild

Belle February 4, 2021

In a further blow to real journalism, Channel 10 has decided to axe the long-running Totally Wild which debuted in 1992 and touched more kid’s…

View More IN FOCUS: Totally Wild
Perth & WA Locations

Ms South Freo

Belle February 3, 2021

In a past life, Flick did admin a few days a week, but after a third-eye-opening experience at a bush doof, she was concerned that…

View More Ms South Freo

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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