Perth man could definitely surf Tombstones but he reckons he might have an ear infection

A mid-30s Perth man has made some stunning revelations to a group of backpackers this week. Assuring them that he’d be out there surfing Tombstones but he’d better not on account of an “ear infection”.

We spoke to one of the backpackers who told The Times that the man who was born in Scarborough even pretended to search through his laptop to find some footage of him surfing the break last year. Adding,

“He kept saying it was here somewhere. Said he used to come down every year to surf Tombstones but has since taken more of a shine to Cyclops these days. He never did find that elusive footage though”

We understand the unhinged statements were made after a younger surfer with the group of backpackers was telling them how he planned to tackle all of WA’s most famous breaks.

It wasn’t to much the comments that seemed to have triggered the Scabs bloke but the look in the girl’s eyes. It was an undeniable look of respect. A look he hasn’t seen shooting his way for a while.

To get his side of the story, The Times sat down with Kai (born Kevin) who had since found some very grainy footage of an unidentifiable man surfing what looks NOT to be Tombstones. He added,

“See? That’s me. Had to have been about 6 feet that day. Not that I keep track I just listen to the ocean and when it says ride me I pull out my thang and raw dog it, bro”

It sounded like a dubious claim. Nevertheless, he continued,

“This young buck was talking a big game but there’s one thing he doesn’t have – experience. I may be a bit older but experience is everything when slaying monster waves. I wasn’t the fittest bloke out in Teahupoo last year but I was the wisest and that’s why I charged that wave when everyone else hit the slab”

According to Kai’s housemate, he hasn’t been anywhere near Tahiti and it’s just another fictitious story he likes to tell in the interest of impressing backpackers.

Hopefully, someone can get Kai some ear medication so we can all see him carve up the beast of the Pilbara.

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