Perth warned after South African Airways resumes their non stop flight service

The WA Government has released a warning to all Perth residents, especially those residing in the northern sprawl that there is a “real and likely” danger of more Saffas coming to our shores in the not-too-distant future.

A spokesperson for the WA Government released a statement exclusively to The Times stating,

“We are asking every WA resident to take suitable precautions with the impending influx of Saffas. We ask that you spent several minutes each day trying to come to peace with their abrasive tone and even ask your loved ones to call you boy, to see if you can get a handle on it”

Indeed, residents should start these preparations not just now but now, now, ja? We spoke to a NOR saffa who said he couldn’t wait for the whole family to visit,

“Ja my boet! I always said there isn’t enough Sith Ifricans in Perth and I think everyone agrees with that ja? It’s going to be lekker”

Another jaapie said the offer was so tempting that he might even fly “the help” over before he came to his senses and bemoaned having to do his own laundry in Australia anyway.

We spoke to a NOR resident who has personally pleaded with Perth Airport to put a stop to South African Airways coming back in. He told The Times,

“Please no. I work with so many of them. Seriously, have you ever had lunch with 4 middle manager Saffas? It’s a fate worse than anything I can think of”

Not everyone in the community thinks an influx of saffas will be a disaster though. With one observant pundit pointing out that they were united in criticism they aren’t particularly keen on test cricket.

Can this slander bring us together? Could we chuck a snag on a braai in an act of unity? Only time will tell.

The flight from Johannesburg to Perth will take about 11 hours and far less of a pain in the arse given you don’t have to pissfart around with connecting flight malarky.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?