“Ping & shred” – Scarborough bloke offering unconventional fitness class ahead of summer

A Scarborough local has been thinking outside the box and came across a unique fitness class idea based on his own success at dropping weight quickly before summer.

He calls it the “ping and shred” and classes start from $200 with a discount if you bring your own pingaz and a couple for him.

We spoke to Dylan who prefers to go by his name “Shredbrah” while he was putting together the perfect Spotify playlist for this afternoon’s class. He told The Times,

“Proven results, brah, I’ve followed this regime religiously for 10 years. Not only will you cut out calories by not eating for 24 hours but you’ll dance yourself straight into hot-rig-topia. That or a cardiac arrest. Depends how hard you go, really”

His classes typically start by standing around his kitchen bench with a little shot of protein shake to help the medicine go down. He offers the standard 4 hour single drop class, the 8 hour double drop class and the 24 hour shelving class. He told The Times,

“I just had a spot open in the shelving section. You in? We’ll start off with a warm up here and then smash out a Sunday session at The Lookout. Don’t worry if you don’t know how to do it, some call me the leading expert of shelving in WA. You name it, I’ve thrust it up there, mate”

During these classes, Dylan promises to introduce you to some of the best exercise known to man – the fist pump. He continued,

“Boxing is generally regarded as the GOAT of cardio so I took that idea and incorporated it into a workout. Instead of punching forward you are punching the sky because you are feeling so damn good, brah. YEWWWWWW”

After each workout, Dylan insists on a debrief. Where the participants in the class sit around his glass balcony table and discuss how many girls they’ve hooked up with and why anyone who disapproves of their lifestyle are haters.

To date, his participants have lost a combined total of 1000kg and every class has been sold out. Meaning that he is actually a rare example of one of these rise & grind blokes who has actually made a bit of money. Staggering really.

Contact Dylan today if this is the sort of thing that you could see yourself doing.

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