A day out in Armadale is perfect for any suburban explorer who seeks a white knuckle, adrenaline ride into the land that god forsook.

Getting Around – you really are spoiled for choice in Armadale, if peddling a BMX aimlessly around the desolate burbs isn’t your thing then trade up for an AU Falcon – the chariot of the cooked.

Top Experiences in Armadale

Shopping Trolleys – oh boy, you can’t visit the City of Armadale without getting the chance to spot a stolen trolley in the wild. Armadale has the most abandoned shopping trolleys per capita and they are just waiting for you to find them!

Scavenger Hunt Through Someone’s Shit-Heap – Armadallians just love collecting corrugated junk and burnt our cars on their front lawns. You never know what you might find, an old starter motor, evidence or perhaps a healthy dose of tetanus.

Have a stare – If there is one thing the perpetually agitated locals enjoy, it’s standing out on their patios and having a good, hard stare at anyone who enters their suburb. Find yourself a nice vantage point and give anything that moves the stink eye.

“The Armadale Volcano” – no, Armadale doesn’t have a real volcano, it’s just what the locals call the bi-weekly explosions they hear from nearby meth labs. Much like a real volcano, toxic fumes fill the air, and you really need to get the hell out as quickly as possible. Adventure!

Fashion Trends – Armadale is often said to have a timeless style that is passed down from generation to generation. Sports attire remains popular with a strong focus on prison tats and speed dealer sunnies. If you aren’t into “train-pest-chic”, you’re very much on brand if you rock 1990’s skate shoes with a hoodie all year round. So much choice.

Local Delicacies – in the Bahamas they crack coconuts, in Armadale they crack 500ml cans of Monster energy drink. Enjoy an ice cold can with a delicious knuckle sandwich after you came off second best during the suburban stare off you enjoyed earlier.

Testimonial “We spent my Birthday in Armadale and I finally know the answer to the question I kept getting asked, “watcarnnt?” – Armadale, that’s what! I loved it so much I just have to go back, partly because I need to file a police report for a “minor incident” in a pub car park, but mostly because I want more and I’m ready to dive back into the Armahole“. – Witness X (identity currently protected by a suppression order)

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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