Home Hot Takes From the Zoo POSTCODES: Armadale 6112

POSTCODES: Armadale 6112

A day out in Armadale is perfect for any suburban explorer who seeks a white knuckle, adrenaline ride into the land that god forsook.

Getting Around

You really are spoiled for choice in Armadale, if peddling a BMX aimlessly around the desolate burbs isn’t your thing then trade up for an AU Falcon – the chariot of the cooked.

Top Experiences in Armadale

Shopping Trolleys – oh boy, you can’t visit the City of Armadale without getting the chance to spot a stolen trolley in the wild. Armadale has the most abandoned shopping trolleys per capita and they are just waiting for you to find them!

Scavenger Hunt Through Someone’s Shit-Heap – Armadallians just love collecting corrugated junk and burnt our cars on their front lawns. You never know what you might find, an old starter motor, evidence or perhaps a healthy dose of tetanus.

Have a stare – If there is one thing the perpetually agitated locals enjoy, it’s standing out on their patios and having a good, hard stare at anyone who enters their suburb. Find yourself a nice vantage point and give anything that moves the stink eye.

“The Armadale Volcano” – no, Armadale doesn’t have a real volcano, it’s just what the locals call the bi-weekly explosions they hear from nearby meth labs. Much like a real volcano, toxic fumes fill the air, and you really need to get the fuck out as quickly as possible. Adventure!

Fashion Trends

Armadale is often said to have a timeless style that is passed down from generation to generation. Sports attire remains popular with a strong focus on prison tats and speed dealer sunnies. If you aren’t into “train-pest-chic”, you’re very much on brand if you rock 1990’s skate shoes with a hoodie all year round. So much choice.

Local Delicacies

In the Bahamas they crack coconuts, in Armadale they crack 500ml cans of Monster energy drink. Enjoy an ice cold can with a delicious knuckle sandwich after you came off second best during the suburban stare off you enjoyed earlier.

Testimonial

“We spent my Birthday in Armadale and I finally know the answer to the question I kept getting asked, “what, cunt?” – Armadale, that’s what! I loved it so much I just have to go back, partly because I need to file a police report for a “minor incident” in a pub car park, but mostly because I want more and I’m ready to dive back into the Armahole“. – Witness X (identity currently protected by a suppression order)

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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