Western Power proud of power grid for cacking its dacks on one isolated 34 degree day

Western Power is now 100% sure the grid is going to “do its thing”  this summer after a truly impressive display yesterday leaving 7000 homes without power in Perth’s south. 

The unplanned power outage is just a small taste of what the Perth power grid is capable of and is completely in line with the community’s expectations. Something that Western Power takes very seriously. A spokesperson for Western Power told The Times,

“It’s all about consistency. It’s about knowing the public can rely on the power grid failing at even the first whiff of a warm one. It’s this kind of unreliability that the people have come to rely upon”

The cause of the shitshow is still being investigated but Western Power said not immediately knowing the cause was even better. Adding, 

“A classic Perth power grid lucky dip of clusterfuckery. You love to see it. Needless to say a few bottles were popping at Western Power headquarters yesterday. Any nagging thoughts that the infrastructure should have been heavily upgraded just melted away”

We spoke to a resident of Byford who was stoked to roll the dice on some leftover KFC that sat in his switched-off old fridge for hours. He told The Times,

“A true taste of summer. So early in the season! You have to love it. My fridge is a piece of shit so I don’t even trust it when it’s running tbh so you can only imagine my surprise when I didn’t wake up covered in a pile of my own shit this morning. Cheers Western Power”

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