A Perth school child has avoided disciplinary action today after being caught with a bottle of the banned “hydration” drink Prime. The school has banned the drink due to the manufacturer admitting it isn’t suitable for children under 15.
Contrary to this ban, the student was spotted at approximately 11:30 am, opening a bottle of Prime around the back of the school. He was immediately confronted by a staff member who told the Times,
“He told me to relax, he wasn’t planning to drink the shit or anything crazy. He’d just heard on an internet forum that the swill inside the bottle was more or less vape juice and he wanted to see if he could vape it. I was very relieved”
The student was essentially given a slap on the wrist if he promised to only try to inhale vaporised Prime fumes rather than drink it. The relaxed stance shows a shift from the school’s previous hard-line policy on vapes. The principal told The Times,
“We don’t want a war on multiple fronts. We have decided the offence against Prime is our priority at the moment and honestly, it makes vaping look like taking a multivitamin. Truly putrid stuff”
Similarly, the boy’s parents were contacted. His mother was returning home from work when she got the call. She told The Times,
“It’s every mum’s worst nightmare, your idiot son was caught trying to consume Prime. I was so relieved when my idiot son was just trying to vape it. He loves that little vape, the rascal”
His father took a contrary position to his mother, confirming that he had no son.