Red Shoe Ban A Real Blow For The 5 Wearers Not Already Banned From All Licenced Premises in WA

Yesterday, Bar1 in Hillarys announced that red shoes will be banned from their nightclub in what can only be seen as an attempt to de-eshay their establishment and remove 90% of unwanted shadow boxing from roided-up blokes with manbags. 

While novel in theory, the ban has failed to make much of an impact given it will only extend to about 5 individuals who wear red shoes and are still permitted to enter a licenced premise in WA. We spoke to a red shoe enthusiast who told The Times,

“Pfft, nice try Bar1 but I still got 9 months on my prohibition notice n that. Can’t step foot on a licensed premises cos I through a Cruiser at a bouncer and that. This ban is nuufink”

However, we tracked down a red shoe wearer who wasn’t currently barred. He said the ban was discrimination, adding,

“No illchay lad, they just mad at all my ashcay ay, bunch of gronks. Bunch of haters hating on my style lad. Ayyy, what size shoe are you lad??”

After a brief skirmish, the young man abandoned his mission to relieve me of my shoes. Instead fielding a call from his mum where he told her to fuckoff. 

A spokesperson for the WA police told The Times,

“It’s funny you mention it, almost everyone we’ve barred from entering licenced premises in WA was wearing red shoes at the time. We now have a dedicated red shoe unit to target the troublemakers. It’s amazing, they carry around beacons for us, on their feet!”

RELATED: SOR Tough Guy Denied Entry To Pub Biff For Failing To Wear Red Jordans

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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