Iluka & Currambine Band Together To Ban The “C Word” For Comfort Of Residents

Boasting some of the highest population of Saffas per capita, the suburbs have decided to rally together to stop any mention of cricket in their communities. It is a move designed to save their residents from embarrassment, humiliation, and ridicule from Australian sports fans. 

It’s no secret that the South African cricket team has brought the kind of energy one could expect to see from an oxy’d up sloth after Xmas lunch. Which of course led to some of the most disappointing cricket of the summer so far. 

Accordingly, residents from Iluka & Currambine have petitioned the local council to get a binding resolution that anyone even mentioning this test series will be dealt with swiftly. A resident from Iluka told The Times,

“Listen here my boy, I will not be ridiculed in my own home ah-k! You must listen to me now, If I hear my son has picked up that filthy C word from school I will be showing them the power of one angry Iluka resident!!!”

A resident of Currambine agreed with the measures, stating that he’s copping the lot at work from his Aussie coworkers and his home should be a safe space. He told The Times,

“Howzit, we must take action, NOW NOW my boy! I will not be disrespected by these filthy Australians. We are looking at heavy fines for anyone dropping the c-bomb until the mighty proteas rrrrrrise from the ashes ja???”

Some are calling the measures heavy handed and that if the shoe was on the other foot, Aussies would be copping a non stop lecturing from Saffas on the rrrright way to play cricket. However, The City of Joondalup told The Times,

“We must look after our residents and unfortunately we have a lot of Saffas living in our area. I’m sure they’ll lighten up a bit during the rugby season when some questionable strategies get them a few wins”

RELATED: REPORT: new South African bloke at work really needs to stop calling everyone “boy”

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