Scott Morrison letting all of Israel know he’s DTF after Qantas baggage mishap

Qantas has furiously apologised to the ex-Prime Minister after admitting that they probably lost Scott Morrison’s luggage somewhere in Palestine and there may be difficulties retrieving it.

To make amends, Qantas has graciously pulled some strings in Tel Aviv to allow ScoMo to sort through the lost property and unclaimed baggage section to put together a fresh new fit for his meeting with Boris Johnston.

A source who was on the flight with the ex-PM told The Times that there were actually loads of suits that would fit him but he opted to dress like a cross between a SoundCloud rapper and a Melbourne fancyman. Adding,

“He kept saying that he was bringing swag to the fight against Hamas. I think he looked like a fkn idiot. Not in a million years did I think he’d wear that clobber to a serious meeting but then again that’s ScoMo for you”

ScoMo on the other hand says that Qantas doing what it does best was a godsend for him. In an exclusive interview the ex-PM told The Times,

“This is me letting all of Israel know that I’m DTF. ScoMo got his groove back baby, I’m tempted to do one of those hippity hops for the TikTok, yo yo, it’s that ScoMo flow! My boy Boris knows I get plenty of hoes and although my mixtape fire I ain’t holding that hose!”

Jesus. After a nearby Israeli defence office heard he asked the PM if they could weaponise his rhymes and blast the LP over Gaza. ScoMo was chuffed, adding,

“They said that me guaranteeing to never rap again could be the one thing that could bring about a ceasefire. They also said I could threaten to debut a fresh new look everyday to the same effect. It’s good to be helping”

In related news, Reebok has personally reached out to the ex-PM and offered him a very lucrative sponsorship to never wear their shoes again.

World peace, getting paid and looking fresh – it has been a rather fruitful journey for ScoMo indeed!

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