Local ladies form an orderly queue after Perth man starts a fight at jet ski ramp 

Perth has been treated to a display of raw, unadulterated masculinity as an impatient man started a fight at the boat ramp this morning. 

Witnesses allege that the man had waited approximately 1 minute and 10 seconds before marching toward the group launching their jet skis in front of him. A witness told The Times,

“He told them he didn’t have all day and when they told him to chill out he pretty much did the opposite. Guy went troppo. Real anger issues if you ask me but clearly every female in a 2km radius disagreed”

Yes, after the biffo, flocks of SOR ladies were drawn to the animal magnetism of the rock ape. Another witness said they weren’t surprised by the scenes, adding,

“I mean c’mon, this angry dude in a Ranger with shit tatts all over his body was in the farangce of a father and his two teenage kids. It was hot. Real hot. I don’t blame a single one of these women for waiting their turn for a piece of him”


If that didn’t get things sizzling then the man’s actions in the water certainly did. A witness told The Times,

“Yeah, this aggro dude just spent the entire time spraying water on the family he’d had a fight with before. Just goading them for about 45 minutes. It was the kind of bullying that makes you think – husband material”

At the time of writing this article, the queue was progressing but he clearly had plenty of poon to get through. Taking a break from his admirers the man told The Times,

“Wait until I tell them that I keyed the cunnys car when I got back to shore ha ha ha. I am kingdick, mate”

More on South Perth water life: Visiting Melburnian absolutely creams himself over South Perth “beach”

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