A Perth Millennial has upped the ante on the spook factor of this year’s Halloween costume. Dressing as something truly fuckin’ terrifying – the Perth rental market.
He was tossing up whether to dress as the hospital crisis of the rental market but leaned towards the latter after remembering the brutal 6 months he’s endured trying to find a reasonably priced rental for his dog and himself.
We spoke to Matt about his horror inducing get up,
“I’m a purist when it comes to Halloween costumes. I’m not trying to look good, I’m trying to ignite a feeling of primal fear in the hearts of people at the party. I want them to look at me and want to throw up. Really dig around in their hurt locker, if you know what I mean?”
We asked why the Perth rental market induced such feelings of intense trepidation,
“Last week, I went to this 2 x 1 in Belmont and I reckon there were like 60 people there. Some dude was saying he was going to offer $200 per week above the asking price and pay 6 months upfront. This joint didn’t even have air con man”
Matt begged the property agent for some advice. He was told,
“Well, it’d be nice if you could rehome your pet, preferably put it down so there’s no risk you’ll be tempted to re-adopt him once you get a rental. If you could send us that video of the termination as proof that will go a long way. Also, how do you feel about the landlord with massive control issues living on the property?”
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That is indeed frightening. He continued,
“I think the costume works because it’s not just frightening to people looking for a rental but also people in current rentals. Slum lords really have no motivation to get anything fixed. I want them to look at me and think about a toilet that doesn’t stop running or an average temperature of 35 degrees inside with on aircon during summer, that’ll get a feeling of dread going”
To complement the look, his girlfriend is going as a naughty Gumtree property scammer. Adding,
“If the thought of getting scammed out of a bond and 2 weeks rent by a hot scammer doesn’t get you going, there must be something wrong with you, fierce”
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
