Armed WA Tourism Agents Waiting Outside HBF To Drag Harry Away For Quokka Selfie Obligation

A crack team of WA Tourism agents has been dispatched to HBF Stadium to ensure Harry Styles fulfills the conditions of his visit to WA and proceeds straight to Rotto to take a photo with a Quokka so the world can cream their jeans. 

WA Tourism officials are apparently spewing’ that it has taken this long. Acknowledging that not every celebrity does it immediately but it would be “in their best interests” if they did. WA Tourism told The Times,

“He realises what he has to do and frankly we are disgusted he hasn’t done it yet. You come to WA and you get down in that fkn dirt and take a fkn quokka selfie for the good of the WA people. If you don’t, well then we have problems”

According to insiders, WA Tourism isn’t lying. With news leaking that Borat has been denied permission to enter the State after he failed to get a quokka selfie during his brief stint in WA. A spokesperson told The Times,

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“If Harry thinks he can skirt our requirements then he is mistaken. Borat is dead to us and we won’t make that mistake again. We have informed our agents they are permitted to gunbutt the shit out of his pretty boy little face if he resists. We hope to have him on Rottnest Island by 11pm tonight”

Harry has acknowledged his obligation and promises that he won’t let the state down. A member of his crew told The Times,

“Harry doesn’t want to be the next Clive Palmer. He’ll fulfil the obligation. Please just let him perform the concert. Those agents making throat slit gestures aren’t helping him shine”

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