Successful cafe goes under after Cash is King enthusiast abandons $4 coffee in protest

A local cooker has scored a huge victory today after forcing the closure of a successful cafe that was previously doing $1000s of dollars in sales per day.

We spoke to Bretdon who had ominously posted in the days leading up to it about how every business that doesn’t accept cash will go broke (on account of going woke, whatever that has to do with accepting card or cash payments). He told The Times,

“I heard bout this joint on a cash is king Facebook page. So I went an hour out of my way this morning to prove a point. I order a coffee and produce LEGAL TENDER and they say nah and I said YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT LEGAL TENDER, they reckon they don’t so I told em to blow it out of their arse hahahahaha they’d started making the coffee too!”

Oh indeed they had and they were unable to recover from the financial blow of the wasted beans. Bretdon had done what he said he would.

We spoke to the cafe owner and asked them if they had any regrets about their decision to ditch cash payments. They told The Times,

“I thought we’d be alright to be honest. We have thousands of dollars a day in card transactions and that’s a pretty good achievement for a cafe in this current climate but that $4 coffee really put a spanner in the works”

Talking further, the cafe owner said he could put up the capital to keep the business running after the hit but he was worried about the threat the man made while throwing a massive tantrum. He told us,

“He told us he was going to organise a boycott and honestly, I don’t think an inner-city cafe could survive without the patronage of 500 hicks from Pinjarra or whatever community page he said he was going to destroy us on”

Let this be a lesson to all businesses in Perth.

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