A Perth man couldn’t wait to get a bunch of random Balinese symbols on his shoulder during his latest trip to Bali. So he looked up the cheapest artist and booked a session this morning.
Alas, the artist was obviously in a different place at the time, and instead of tattooing the Balinese symbols on the man he accidentally tattooed exactly what he was thinking. Scribing “Bule Fuckwit” on the man’s body.
We spoke to the Perth man who was pretty gutted he wasn’t going to be able to impress Balinese girls with his love of their culture. He was also pretty gutted to find out what the locals thought of him. He told The Times,
“I really thought I was the king of Kuta. Turns out they think I’m just like the rest of these Aussie scumbags. He was fairly apologetic afterward but another Balinese guy in the shop yelled at me, and said that’s what I should get for wanting such a terrible tatt. Also noting that everyone saw him piss on a passed-out German the night before”
After sulking in his hotel room for 3 hours, the young man decided to try and get his money back. His Aldi-shop Chopper antics landed him in more financial stress after having to pay the police a bribe after they swiftly attended the scene.
Left with no other option, he decided to take his new ink out for a spin. Up and down the streets of Kuta the locals chanted at him, “bule! Bule! Bule!” After a few hours of hearing their infectious laughter at his expense, he came around. Adding,
“I used to think I was the king of Kuta but maybe I’m just the bule boss? I had a moment of reflection and maybe I am a fuckwit? I sure as shit will be acting like one after a couple of Bintangs. Pretty heavy realisation on holiday ya know”
Local authorities are praising the man for his self reflection. Going on to say that Aussies very rarely understand just how obnoxious they can be on the island. A spokesperson for the Bali Government told The Times,
“This Australian didn’t get what he paid for. He got so much more. We will be rewarding the tattoo artist in question for forcing him to look at himself in the mirror. Maybe he won’t vomit all over our streets tonight”
It’s hard to disagree with that.
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