5 Ways Growing Up In WA Prepares You For The Real World

You can’t hide from your problems – ask any Western Australian that thought they could simply pop into their local shopping centre on a Thursday evening to do some undisturbed shopping. Impossible. You will be identified, you’ll be hounded and you’ll end up having to agree to some painful coffee catch-up next Wednesday. 

The constant threat of running into some mouthbreathing fuckstick from your past is a powerful motivator. It teaches us that no matter what, your past will catch up with you so there’s no use hiding from it. More on trying to hide HERE.

You can’t judge a book by its cover – all that glitters isn’t 99.99999% pure gold. Just take that suited-up schmuck who looked at you like a dogturd on the footpath of life. He likely bought that entry-level suit on credit and works 30 extra unpaid hours a week to afford it. Corporate logic for a corporate pleb. 

Now take a look at that scraggly looking bloke who just passed out in the pub urinal after throwing a pint glass at the screen showing the dogs. He’s probably holding millions in assets and could buy the pub. More on this lad HERE.

Talent is overrated – now you could be one of the 10 people in WA who get a job because they are genuinely excellent at life. Or you could be like the rest of the state and surf the nepotism wave all the way to the shores of career success baby.

Not everyone can be born into the right family but it does teach one to go through life not being a dick. Networking and connections are everything in Perth. Once you land the role you just have to be slightly less shit than the person next to you. That’s the WA way. More on nepotism HERE.

The grass is not always greener – there are two main splits that Western Australians live religiously by – regional/Perth and NOR/SOR. If growing up in Perth taught you anything it’s to never for a SECOND consider the greenness of the other side. It’s forbidden. 

On rare occasions, a few West Aussies might wander into that fateful paddock and become a convert like a traitorous grazing bovine. Be prepared to be disowned and never truly graze as one of the herd. Don’t go chasing waterfalls, appreciate what you have. More on the divide HERE.

It’s never too late to change – while WA isn’t known as a place of revolutionary change it does serve as the perfect reminder that it’s never too late to change. Just look at Nedlands, a Labor seat in the middle of the Golden Triangle? 7/11s? Small bar licences? Legislation to stop NIMBY dinosaurs keeping their suburbs in the 70s? It didn’t happen overnight but WA can change. 

Jesus, they are even allowed retailers to extend their hours on public holidays! What’s next, extending Sunday trading? It’s possible. It should be a valuable lesson that even the most stubborn sack of shit can eventually change. Just don’t be in a rush. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?