Andrew “Twiggy” Forrest made a surprise visit to the Diggers & Dealers Conference yesterday despite FHM not presenting at this year’s conference. Arriving by helicopter, the newly single man looked fresh to death in his new threads. He was instantly dubbed the Fresh Prince of Kalgoorlie.
We spoke to a witness who saw Twiggy swagger into the conference at about 2:30 p.m. They told The Times,
“I won’t lie, I thought Twiggy was a bit too big for Diggers these days but he came in hot. Real hot. Popped collar on a pink Ralph Lauren and a tiger shell necklace. He had his traditional chinos on and yeah, he was working it, baby”
Another witness said he was doused head to toe in Paco Rabanne 1 Million cologne and was twirling around the keys to a brand-spankin’ LandCruiser 70 series. It was a big flex for the mining billionaire.
During his visit, Twiggy had what was described as a heavy “New Year’s Eve” energy. Buying bottles of Grey Goose and fist pumping long into the night. We spoke to a local skimpy who told The Times,
“Normally, the delegates give me money but tonight I was slipping Twiggy tips. I don’t think there is a woman alive who could’ve resisted him looking that good. I mean damn, tiger shell? In 2023 that’s a statement”
After his surprise visit, every personal assistant at Diggers & Dealers were ordered to go and retrieve their bosses similar garbs. Everyone wanted a big slice of what Twiggy was on.
By no coincidence, shares in FMG have surged 1.5% today. You do the maths.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?