Victoria Park man, James exchanged a sorrowful glance with his copy of The Barefoot Investor on his coffee table as he completed an order for yet another feed through Menulog.
Admitting that the perfect storm of a big weekend, a natural proclivity towards laziness, and T20 cricket has led James to this fiscally disastrous cause of action. Surrounded in wooden cutlery and shame he told The Times,
“I threw a used serviette from a Pad Thai over Scotty’s face there. I know I’ve let him down. He didn’t need to see me smash $140 worth of food when I live within walking distance to the IGA”
Indeed, James was also clearly within walking distance from the restaurants he ordered from too. He could have easily hauled his dusty arse and saved himself the delivery fee each time. A move The Barefoot Investor would accept as a last resort.
In James’ defence he did make a walk down to the servo earlier in the day to acquire Maximus sports drink – a budget option. A move he said the Papemeister would sure be proud of.
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Alas, Pape wasn’t proud. The all-knowing, all-saving being apparently noticed a disturbance in the fiscal responsibility force. A spokesperson for Pape told The Times,
“Every time one of my children transfers money from an ING no-fee savings account I die a little. I knew James had lost his way today. More spending animal than man but I forgive. I forgive all my pisswreck children”
At the time of posting this article, we believe that James had hoovered the two large pizzas he ordered and had started gently flicking through his phone with a real hankering for some dessert.
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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
