The Nation has woken up to the news that the Geelong Refinery that suffered a fire last night ACTUALLY supplies 100% of Australia’s fuel, rather than the 10% some would have you believe.
The news, of course, comes from the servos who say the fire in Geelong is going to force them to jack up prices given it is literally their only source of fuel, adding, “you know how it is“.
We spoke to an industry insider who said if you listened closely you could hear the unzipping of pants from every fuel executive in the country. Adding,
“You couldn’t ask for a better scapegoat to gouge, literally a fire at an oil refinery! During a fuel crisis, you little beauty. You can’t make this stuff up. Just as the Strait of Hormuz apparently reopened!”
Indeed, the fire does seem to have sprung up around the same time as the demented orange king’s ramblings about opening up the Strait of Hormuz for China.
Of course, taking his word for it would be perilous and anything else is veering into baseless conspiracy theories.
We spoke to a regular punter who said he was a little shocked that regional servos in WA relied so strongly on Geelong but was lubing up in preparation for the inevitable. Adding,
“Sigh”
Well said mate.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?