Albo signs GST pledge on the proviso he can get the hell out of this 43 degree inferno ASAP

Visiting Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has signed a pledge that he will support WA’s fair share GST deal while sweating profusely and asking at his entourage when he can get back to cool Sydney.

Noticing the Prime Minister’s discomfort, the WA Government took the chance to get him to agree to a bunch of other stuff while dangling the carrot of escape over his nose. A spokesperson told The Times,

“We asked him if he’d commit several billion to building a wall at the border of WA so we could start plans to secede from Australia. Albo said if it meant he was back in The Lodge before the 36-degree night he’d be all for it”

Opposition leader Potato Dutton has hit out at WA’s “cheap” negotiation tactics. Saying it was unfair to have planned such a disgusting hot day just to strongarm the PM into agreeing to our demands.

WA has rejected those claims and said if it really wanted to tighten the screws, they would be holding today’s meeting in Gero, Carnarvon or Shark Bay.

After just hearing about those options for a meeting location, the PM pledged an unsolicited $4B to help WA’s ailing health system. WA didn’t even need to ask for it.

All Western Australians can thank this disgusting heatwave for securing a fair GST deal that will make our great State even more prosperous than it is.

Still, 36 degrees at midnight is just a step too far.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?