“As Close As You’ll Get” – Jetstar To Give Perth Terminal Balinese Backyard Makeover For Passengers They Cancelled On

Jetstar has listened to the concerns & complaints streaming in from frustrated customers who have had their flights to Bali cancelled this week. In response, they are pulling out all the stops and recreating the Balinese ‘vibe” in Terminal 1.

Marketing the move as the “As Close As You’ll Get Initiative”, passengers will be able to enjoy the luxury of a Balinese villa from the comfort of Terminal 1 while they wait to see if they’ll get another flight. 

A spokesperson for Jetstar told The Times,

“Obviously we’re not very good at bringing you to Bali so let’s bring Bali to you. We hope you’ll like the experience because frankly you ain’t getting to the real deal on our watch”

To make the experience more authentic, Jetstar have paid several actors to douse themselves in Lynx body spray and fill the terminal with the unmistakable stank of burped out Bintang. 

We spoke to Kimberely who had her flight cancelled and was unable to find an alternative flight that suited her availability. She told The Times,

“While I wait for a travel voucher I can sip on a cocktail and get a massage from a baggage handler. I heard they’ve even considered stocking duty-free with a bunch of fake shit that I can buy. The family needs new Raybans”

Some passengers are expected to just cancel their Bali plans and get belligerent in T1 instead. We spoke to Thommo who told The Times,

“Yeah bruz, it makes perfect sense when you think about it. An airport has roughly the same drug policy as Bali so I reckon I can get myself into a nice little hairy situation where I’ll need to bribe an officer. Then I’ll whinge about how corrupt they are on FB later ha ha, that’s a good holiday to me”

The initiative is expected to run for the remainder of the year or for as long as it takes for Jetstar and the airport industry as a whole to get its shit together. 

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