Aussie selectors wowed by man’s over of bouncers to 10 year old niece on the weekend 

Cricket Australia can’t believe that Jeremy’s bowling prowess has flown under their radar for so long after seeing vision of him sending a barrage of short-pitched balls to his 10 year old niece. 

There is no question he was making that young girl sweat as he delivered nothing in her half of the wicket during a game of backyard cricket on the weekend. Some say he’s a tad competitive, others suggest he is just living out his failed dreams. Whatever the reason, his efforts will likely earn him a closer look by selectors. A spokesperson for CA told The Times,

“He’s got what it takes. No mercy even after looking into the eyes of that terrified young girl. Even calling her a coward for exposing her wicket in a suspected attempt to get out rather than face another around the wicket steamer”

To sweeten the pot, Jeremy took 35 wickets that day after his unique brand of bowling was too much for his niece’s schoolmates attending her 10th birthday party. He also scored 240 runs before his nephew got him plum. A witness told The Times,

“Jeremy wasn’t going to walk let’s put it that way. He said LBW is a stupid rule in backyard cricket and if he was counting the bruises on kid’s legs he’d have over 50 wickets for the day. He was eventually called a dick head by his own father and told to leave the kids alone”

Selectors are expected to attend Jeremy’s next session of backyard cricket which will be held this Saturday on the South Perth foreshore. It will be a real test for him with most of his opposition having two decades of experience on his niece’s birthday flunkies. 

We spoke to the man of the hour who said he was waiting for the call-up his whole life. He told The Times,

“Some men are just built for it. I bet Jacinta will be seeing my bowling arm in her dreams. Absolutely pissweak effort by the way. Didn’t even attempt to pool one away for 6. Which I would’ve given her out for. I’m a tad embarrassed to be related, I mean, crying? Get over it”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?