Cartel offer Alan Joyce a job after hearing his reputation for sending bags to every corner of the globe

An unexpected job offer has come Alan Joyce’s way from Sinaola in Mexico after the Cartel heard the CEO would be stepping down from his role at Qantas early.

A spokesperson for the Cartel admitted that they weren’t so different to Qantas. Especially in the pursuit of sending bags to every corner of the globe. Adding,

“We heard that under Alan Joyce’s leadership, a passenger was told their bags were in outer Siberia. That’s an incredible reach! Do you know the amount of effort it would be to get one of our shipments to a place that remote? With Joyce at the helm, we could really move product”

They are also apparently “very impressed” that Joycey’s airline was able to get a South Australian man’s ski gear sent to North Korea – a notoriously difficult country to infiltrate.

Of course, Joyce’s skill of reaching every corner of the globe is powerful but also unpredictable. It will be the Cartel’s main logistics officer’s job to try and harness Joyce’s global bag reach and make it efficient. A spokesperson told The Times,

“While Joycey can make a bag go anywhere, it’s not always the correct place. That would be a problem for us. It would also be a problem for him. A big problem”

They have also said that Joycey’s ability to disappear bags could be extremely useful in the right circumstances. Such as when custom’s ambush them or an opposition Cartel gets the drop on them. Joycey is truly a man who can do it all. Ironically, this was a key reason Joyce was passed up for the AFL CEO position. More HERE on that.

If he accepts the offer, Joyce will be flown to Mexico later this week to talk strategy on how to reach those markets the Cartel previously thought inaccessible. Like Western Australia.

Ultimately, business leaders feel that Joycey can do far less damage working for a cartel than he did working for a national airline.

RELATED: Alan Joyce resigns 2 months early, reinforcing Qantas’ commitment to never departing on schedule

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?