Western Australian man Kyle feels like his life has become an inescapable hellscape of Binge, Disney, Paramount, Netflix, Stan and some other bullshit streaming apps.
While mildly entertained for maybe 2 days of each subscription he is left feeling cold and alone. Which was proven this evening when he decided to give Netflix another go only to find that after the movie he wanted to see the rest was a pile of fkn garbage.
He howled at the entertainment gods. Why have you forsaken me? Why am I blowing 40 a month of mid tier shit. That’s when he realised he had to go back to the old school. He had to become the pirate he once was.
Sailing the 7 seas of internet piracy is a skill acquired over years of practice. Alas, with the changing landscape it’s also a skill that can be lost. A once carefree PirateBay man who torrent his way into oblivion is now faced with an unfamiliar landscape. We spoke to Kyle who told The Times,
“I tried to hook up to my mate’s Plex server but it was all a bit complicated. I just want to log onto a single torrent site and fill my boots. Now I need VPNs and shit. Look I was a pirate but I wasn’t a very good one me harties”
Alas, it isn’t so much the know-how. He’s sure he can pick that up with a few YouTube videos. It’s the motivation. The shift from streaming fuckwit to pirating legend. He continued,
“My mate said I could just torrent on my phone and Chromecast onto my telly. Easy as piss. I just needed to sign up to this torrent site and get a VPN. I really should. If I’m let down by another fkn stream service I’ll go off bro”
Be the change you want to see in the world Kyle.