Cowaramup’s Cow-munity in Udder Shock Over Waroona Cownapping Accusations

Waroona is demanding the police launch an investigation into whether rival cow-themed-town Cowaramup was behind the cownapping of Mooriel on Friday afternoon.

Mooriel is a beloved figure in the Waroona community and much like Perth’s Eliza is regularly dressed up. Partly because it’s cute and partly because there isn’t much else to do in Waroona.

After a weekend investigation, WA Police tracked Mooriel to a property in Morley and confirmed that two men had been charged with the theft. Alas, Waroona locals aren’t happy with this and suspect something more sinister at play. A Waroona local told The Times,

“Cowaramup hates that we also have a herd of fibreglass cows scattered across our town. They want a moolopoly on cow themes and honestly, those locals are crazy enough to fund this kind of bovine-crime. We keep telling the police the moo-tive is right there! FOLLOW THE MILK”

We spoke to a Cowaramup local who is widely known for trying to marry one of the fibreglass cows in his town. He just loves them that much and was equally passionate about Waroona stepping on their toes. Adding,

“When you think cow town you think Cowaramup in the State’s mighty South West. Not some Peel shithole. They aren’t fit to carry the cow theme. They are nothing. Would I want them deprived of their mascots? No comment”

Police have confirmed they are taking Waroona’s accusations seriously but at this stage had no evidence of a Cowaramup cowspiracy. A spokesperson added,

“To accuse the top levels of Big Dairy of organising the hit on Mooriel is not something we take lightly. It would be udderly irresponsible for us to proceed without proper Cowmission from the powers that beef”

It should be noted that Cowaramup was also implicated in the theft of Moosli from a Byford primary school. With witnesses suggesting some “South West” types had been sniffing around days prior to the disappearance.

A local Byford retailer told The Times that a farmer had come into her shop and made disparaging remarks about Byford’s available agricultural land and asked her if she thought we deserved to even have a fibreglass cow.

Food for thought.

RELATED: Cowaramup Concerned It Hasn’t Gone Hard Enough On The Whole Cow Thing

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