Where else can you soak up a gut full of Metros-induced piss while watching the full spectrum of deplorable human behaviour for free?
It goes without saying, Hungry Jacks Freo was truly the heart & soul of South Terrace and things haven’t been the same since she left us in 2018.
Since then, the empty storefront has stood as a depressing symbol of an era lost to the ages. Patchy memories scattered like lettuce in a Bacon Deluxe coming straight from your head.
We spoke to Tamara who says she’s never found a spot as good as HJ’s Freo for bursting into tears with the girls after a night out, she told The Times,
“Sitting in the booth and getting inexcusably emotional over some bullshit drama isn’t the same without the baboon enclosure vibe that HJ’s Freo always provided. It was a real zoo”
Similarly, young pisswreck and all-round lout says he misses puffing his chest out like a meth-rooster while standing in the line looking for trouble, adding,
“You were 500% tougher when armed with a whopper in your hand at HJ’s Freo that’s just facts. I’d go back to Freo if HJ’s came back, that’s pretty much why I went in the first place”
While some argue that the behaviour inside bordered on anti-social, others would argue that it was a fantastic environment for people to get a “reality check”.
A former worker told The Times,
“You have no idea how many times you’d see someone walk in and be 100% disgusted at the behaviour of their fellow revellers, you could see a switch flicked and they vowed to clean up their act and not be associated with this kind of riff raff. It changed a lot of lives man”
It is unclear whether HJ’s could return to its former spot or if someone else has snapped it up. However, experts agree that as long as it sits in the “theatre of conflict” zone, it should be able to live up to its reputation.
It’s time to give a new generation of Perth party goers the full royal treatment.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?